why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
