those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
