brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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