Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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