Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
