Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
