Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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