I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
