I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
