Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
