It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
