If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
