He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
