sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
