he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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