babies were throwing up all over the place
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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