I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
