Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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