y did u give ur computer a hand job?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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