When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
