if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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