Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
