Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
