I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
