Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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