real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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