i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
