My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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