I showed him my bush... on skype.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
