how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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