Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
