he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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