he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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