this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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