just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
