i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
