Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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