Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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