I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
