you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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