i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
