we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
