I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
This baby is an asshole
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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