We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
