so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
