If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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