Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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