There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
