I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
