Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
