Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Randomize
