i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
